Thursday, February 07, 2008

I can't get with it...

it's been two years this month since Reed got this job. And him leaving just doesn't get easier for me. I found out today that he's basically going to be gone for 3 weeks with one day home in between. NICE! It just kills me, I know it could be worse he could be off fighting a war for 4 months at a time. But he's not and this is my actual life and honestly it sucks! Of course it doesn't suck all the time, but right now in this venting moment of mine it does.

I wish I knew what to do to make it easier to just go on with life, enjoy him while he's here and then say goodbye when the time comes, but nope I can't do that. I fight, yell, and flip out like it's his fault. UGH! And then I cry for like 3 hours. It's real fun, I'm sure you wish you were here right now, right?! ;)

I know he hates it, he misses us just as much as we miss him, but then I think of it like how bad it could it really be for him. He's alone, eating out every night and not having to deal with the girls. But then he has to deal with his boss, the client, the fact that he is alone and then of course he worry's about his crazy emotional wife ALL the time. UGH! I just pray that soon I can figure this out. Figure out how to make this work, how to just deal like Reed tells me and enjoy the time we have.

When he was at his old job and I was prego with Rylee he had to travel a couple time during that 9 months and I remember saying "I am NOT going to be one of those wife’s whose husband travels all the time!" HA! I guess I deserve it right.

I'm hoping for today I’m over it, that I vented it's out for the world to read and now I can stop crying like a baby! I have him home for 10 more days so I pray that before that is up, I can get my emotions in check and figure this s**t out or else I’m going to drive everyone crazy and no one will be happy.

I am off to visit Rylee's classroom in a few so that should lift my sprits! here's to hoping...

4 comments:

shannon said...

aw. i'm sorry. i cannot imagine nick having a job where he travels. are there other job options?
hope you are unsad soon. ;o)

Liz said...

just wanted to let you know you're not alone... being a single mom half the time sucks some of the time... :(

Angela said...

I hope you are doing better! My dh left today for a week for work. I always have a hard time the first day. I try to rent movies I love, have treats for me in the house and plan something while he is away. I'm going to dinner with my friend Sat night and getting a babysitter.

Brandy said...

baby girl, i am so sorry!! if you both hate it, could he find another job? bummer, bummer - there are a lot of yall with traveling men and i don't know how you do it. you are a super mom, that's for sure!!